Know what would be a sweet gift for the holidays? A giant teddy bear with spindly white legs, disproportionate to the rest of the body, that could creepily sit on a bean bag chair in the kitchen and have its legs flop into the dining room. I know that’s exactly what you’re looking for.
According to the funniest product reviews since the Miyaya Horse/Unicorn Mask Collection debacle of May 2017, the bear’s torso is outrageously disproportionate to the legs.
“I feel like there should have been more emphasis on the lower portion of the teddy bear,” said one commenter, who called the bear “freakishly terrifying in [when photographed in] portrait.”
“It appears to be some sort of bipedal giraffe bear hybrid. After we took him out of the box with my daughters, I expected it to hop up and sprint away down the street with a fingerless fist raised in victory.”
I feel there should have been more emphasis on the lower portion of the teddy bear. The photos mostly show a proportional torso and typically oversized head as is common in large, human-sized teddy bears. Where the emphasis is lacking is in the giant pendulous legs that haunt the lower two thirds of this stuffed freak bear. It appears to be some sort of bipedal giraffe bear hybrid. After we took him out of the box with my daughters, I expected it to hop up and sprint away down the street with a fingerless fist raised in victory. My daughter tries to hug the bear and she gets trapped in a serpentine mass of bear legs. She won’t keep it in her room anymore because her friends won’t visit because of the nightmares. Joyfay should sell some sort of amputation and patch kit for parents that want a more desirable short legged bear.
Which you may contrast with this:
In all seriousness, the legs are so long they stretched from a humble Amazon product page all the way to Twitter, where they took one jump and skyrocketed to viral fame.
i can’t handle this pic.twitter.com/ExuMvB0vw6
—♡BeelzebubsBabygirl♡ (@cooltonedcutie) November 9, 2017
If you want your very own nightmare daddy long legs bear, you can head over to Amazon and buy it for the low low low price of $129.99 + shipping. If you haven’t heard, it’s got long legs.
I have not acquired this masterpiece yet but excited to get one because of the legs. Please keep pumping out those Spongebob from prom looking bears please and thank you!
Some people are into that.
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